Awhile ago, I released an editorial on how to spot scam games. This is the flip side, how to spot great games on the Nintendo eShop. But before I begin a caveat: picking winners is far harder than picking losers, because tastes are subjective. Nobody is going to like a scam game like The Love, but not everyone is going to like something like Amedama. But if you follow this short guide, you should be able to spot good games, even if you’re not impressed in the end. To illustrate how to spot great games, I will use Police Simulator: Patrol Officers and its scam knockoff, Cop Officers: Police Simulator of NYPD City. Now as of this writing, Cop Officers has not released(it releases in two days). However, I don’t need to because this is about the Nintendo eShop and there’s a 99.9% chance it is is crap anyway.
Scam Game: Cop Officer
Cop Officers bares all the hallmarks of the opposite of a great game, up to and including stuff I didn’t talk about in scam game article. It has a wordy SEOd name. The publisher, 16Bit has released 9 games in 5 months. The title image is AI generated, look at the side insignia on the cop. The marketing screenshots are fake, which I’ll get into detail below. The file size is 1.3GB, way too small for what the game promises in the blurb:
Embrace the thrill of the chase and become a dedicated officer in “Police Simulator” a captivating simulation game that places you in the heart of a bustling metropolis.
Key Features:
Enforce the Law: Make arrests, issue fines for parking violations, and maintain order on the roads, upholding justice and safety.
Become a Guardian of the City: Choose your character and embark on a challenging yet rewarding career in law enforcement.
Patrol the Streets: Cruise the city in iconic police cars or navigate tight spaces on a Segway, ensuring no corner escapes your vigilance.Conduct Thorough Investigations: Search individuals, uncover illegal items, and contribute to a safer environment for all citizens.
Embrace the Hero Within: Be the frontline defender against crime, protecting the city from harm and becoming a symbol of hope for the community.
Test Your Skills: Step into the shoes of an NYPD officer and put your determination and professionalism to the test in diverse situations.“Police Simulator” provides you with a unique experience in the world of police service, where your determination and professionalism will be front and center. Are you ready to answer the call of duty and become an unwavering guardian of order in NYPD City?
Note the words like “Thrill” and “Captivating.” Note the action phrases in the key features section. This will be important in a moment! Now, if you scroll down to the genre, you’ll see there are 4 entries: Simulation, Action, First-Person(despite the screenshots being in third person) and Training(which is just plain bullshit). This is so the game can show up in as many searches as possible. Cop Officers is cheap at $12, half the price of Police Simulator, and will probably be on sale at $1.99 on day one.
Great Games: Police Simulator
I have Police Simulator and have played it some, and I like it. It is good. More Importantly, it doesn’t fall into the pit traps of Cop Officers. First, the publisher, Astragon, has a much slower release schedule, the title image is not AI generated. The text is legible, and it looks like the image was made with in-game assets. The marketing screenshots in some ways look worse than Cop Officers does. Take a look:
Police Simulator images are real, the game really does look like that. Cop Officer images are definitely fake because they look they came from Poser, and that the game has the “first-person” genre, yet the screenshots are in third person. The file size is 5.3GB, not huge, but in line with games of this type. Let’s take a look at the blurb:
Grab your Nintendo Switch™ and experience the everyday life of a police officer by joining the ranks of this fictitious American city’s police force. Begin with parking violations and work your way up to shouldering greater responsibilities. Be part of Brighton’s community, get to know your neighborhood, and fulfill the daily duties of a police officer as you fight crime during your shift. Always be tough, but fair: respect the law and gain more experience to unlock more neighborhoods, districts, and duties! Be ready to react at a moment’s notice! In the open world of Brighton you will be able to choose neighborhoods for your patrols and make sure to keep them safe. The game offers a simulation mode for experienced players looking for the most authentic experience, as well as a casual mode for those looking for a more relaxing patrol in the streets of Brighton.
Note the lack of adverbs here. The marketing blurb does not say police simulator is a great game, because the game does the talking. It basically says what it is and what it does. While there are action phrases like “Be ready to react at a moments notice” that’s not BS, you literally do in the game have to be on your toes. Meanwhile, I guarantee Cop Officers does not offer thrilling chases and edge of your seat action. Next, there is only one genre, Simulation. Finally, price does not matter with great games unless they go on sale for $1.99 on day one, which means they were crap to begin with.
Conclusion:
First, in great games the title and screenshots are real. Second, the blurb does not use adverbs and action phrases that tell you how great things are. They don’t need to. Remember that while you may not ultimately like the title, or even that it was good, you will at least avoid scams, because the game was real and effort put in. Good hunting!
